Dear Ava: on tipping, dry spells, and more…

This week, we discuss how to become every escort’s favorite client (tip!), what to do when business slows to a trickle, the expectation of thank you notes, and more!


Dear Ava,
I have a burning question about tipping. How much should a Good Client tip? I tip my barber, waitress, Lyft Driver, bartenders, etc. But I’ve always wondered about tipping our beloved providers. This is new to me. Am I failing in this area? Is there a dollar amount a provider expects to receive as tip? Is $25, $40 okay, or is $150 an average amount? Should I go with a percentage, 10-20% of the rate? What do you recommend? I want to make sure I’m tipping fairly. I do not want to be labeled a “cheapskate.” 🙂

First off— Thanks for being an awesome client! Tipping in this industry, as opposed to the restaurant industry for instance, is not expected. So when a client goes out of their way to acknowledge fantastic service with a lil’ something extra in the envelope it’s truly appreciated, whatever the amount. Consequently, there isn’t a customary tipping etiquette to refer to here. Instead, I suggest that you tip based on two things: the amount of time you’re spending with them and whether or not you had any special requests for them when you met. I can’t tell you what would fit your budget, but maybe come up with a flat rate that you tip every provider per hour that you spend with them. Then throw in a little bonus if you’ve asked them to bring anything special, wear something you requested, or travel outside of their usual area. I would hesitate to base the amount on their rates since a great experience is a great experience, whatever you’ve paid for it. One thing I can promise you is that if you’re tipping at all, there isn’t a provider out there who would call you a cheapskate.


Dear Ava,
What do you do when at first you were getting clients and now all of a sudden a dry spell?

Ugh. The unexpected dry spell. We’ve all been there. One day business is chugging along and the next you’re sitting at home alone wondering if someone started a rumor that you have chlamydia (No? Just me? Whatever.). It sucks, but little dips in business are kind of inevitable in this industry. Everything from weather, to the stock market, to info leaks from other websites (Remember the Ashley Madison hack? I didn’t see a new client for almost 2 weeks) can cause business to dry up temporarily. The first thing to do if things seem suspiciously slow is to Google yourself. Is there a nasty review out there? Has someone else stolen your copy or photos? Is there an issue with your website? Are the websites that host your ads down? If everything there seems in order, the next thing you can try is changing up your photos. Don’t rush out and spend money that you’re not making on a whole new photo shoot, but swap out the photos that are on your ads. Post some cute new selfies on Twitter. Do something to give your web presence a slight tweak. It’s amazing how easily guys can be tricked into clicking on your ad if they think it’s something new. Another thing you can try is advertising somewhere new. Of course, that’s not always a possibility, but if it is, exposing yourself to a different clientele might be just what you need. Unfortunately, sometimes none of that does much good and your only option is to wait it out. But rest assured, the tide will turn eventually. As long as we’re selling it, someone will be buying it.


Dear Ava,
What’s the best way to encourage a provider to indulge in a little more public affection when we’re out together? I love things like hand holding, having her rest her head on my shoulder, and walking arm in arm, but I don’t want to come off as entitled or demanding if I ask for it.

Sweet public displays of affection are part of what make the Girlfriend Experience the Girlfriend Experience. Beautiful little moments of tenderness while you’re out together turn a great date into an unforgettable one and are one of the best things about enjoying a public outing together. That being said, one of an escort’s first priorities is discretion. If it’s our first public date, I’m usually going to err on the side of caution and keep things a little more platonic until I’m given the green light to be more demonstrative. As I talked about in an earlier post about how to make the most of your public outing, the last thing any of us want is to make you uncomfortable by doing too much. If you know going into the date that you’re looking for a little more warmth and affection, let us know! At some point between the booking and the date itself, shoot the provider an email describing the kind of experience you’re looking for. You’ll only come off as entitled or demanding as your choice of words. “I really love holding hands in public and I’m completely comfortable with some low key PDA. I hope you are too!” will be received a lot better than, “When we go out, I expect you to treat me as you would your real boyfriend. I should be able to kiss and caress you and I expect the same in return.” Now, if you’re already on a date and you want her to turn up the heat a little, use gentle physical cues to guide her. I’m not suggesting that you ram your tongue down her throat the minute she pauses for breath during your conversation, but try reaching for her hand and see how she reacts. Or stroke her arm sweetly and see if she stiffens or softens at your touch. A good escort (if she’s comfortable with that kind of thing) will usually get the hint and respond in kind. If she doesn’t respond or seems uncomfortable, STOP. Not everyone is comfortable with canoodling in public and that’s okay! The only thing worse than no public affection is forced, uncomfortable, awkward public affection. Actually, I take that back, the worst possible thing would be for you to be pushing someone’s boundaries and making them regret seeing you. So avoid both scenarios and reign it in if she isn’t reciprocating. Unfortunately, it may just be a bad match.


Dear Ava,
I often see posts from escorts on twitter with pictures and message something like “So nice to get these flowers, candy etc. when I got home today!” I would often like to send something like this as a thank you gift, but how can this be done if items are not on a wishlist?

Wishlists are useful because they give clients a foolproof way to show their appreciation. They’re discreet, they’re easy, and there’s zero chance that you’ll inadvertently give a gift that’s destined for re-gifting, or worse, the donation bin at Goodwill. If a provider has one, that should really be your first choice. However, if there’s something in particular that you just know they’d love to receive but it isn’t on their list, the only thing you can do is ask them directly. Many of us have PO boxes or alternate mailing addresses just for this purpose. If you’ve already met the provider, it’s totally okay to ask if they have a shipping address that they wouldn’t mind sharing. Of course, not everyone is comfortable with that; even a PO box might reveal more information than they’re willing to give out. If that’s the case, thank them anyway and just pick something off their list. You can always bring them the gift you really wanted to give in person the next time you meet.


Dear Ava,
While on a date with a dear friend of mine, I gave her an expensive (relative to her consideration rates) work of art as a birthday gift. It is a beautiful piece, and I think she liked it when I gave it to her. However, I have never received even a simple thank you note. Did I insult her, was it too personal, should I say anything? I’m actually sort of hurt by the rudeness, but not sure if I should say anything… perhaps I should just ignore it and move on?

So you gave your friend a gift in person and she expressed her appreciation directly to you when she received it. But now you’re upset because she hasn’t sent a thank you note. Honestly, I think you may be being a bit unfair. Despite what many of our mothers have drilled into our heads about the importance of a prompt, sincere thank you note, this isn’t exactly a normal situation. Generally, most escorts work under the understanding that once your time together has ended, your time together has ended. While I will often reach out immediately after a date to express my appreciation for a gift or a good time, I think you may have to accept that not everyone is comfortable doing that. The only time that I think a thank you note is really required is when a gift is received in the mail, since there’s no opportunity to express your thanks in person. But in your case, you were thanked in person and, from what I understand, went on to enjoy the rest of your time together. So while I can’t imagine that she was insulted by the gift, I can believe that she might be if you email her days or weeks later to complain about not having received another thank you. Don’t stress yourself out, be happy that you did a nice thing and let it go. BUT while we’re on the subject, I’d like to have a quick word with my fellow providers. Gents, do you mind seeing yourselves out? This next bit is just between us girls. Thaaaaaanks! Ladies! Where are your manners? This is like the fourth question I’ve gotten about providers not saying thank you for gifts that they’ve been given! I know we’re all busy, but it doesn’t take more than a moment to send a quick thank you email when someone spends the time and money to try and brighten your day with a present. I’m trying to give you all the benefit of the doubt here, but come on! What would your mama say? 



Feel free to send me all of your burning questions for next week’s post! Direct Message me on Twitter @MsAvaStClaire or email me directly at

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