This week: a client grapples with doing the honorable thing in the face of temptation, we discuss (again) why it’s never okay to ask for a discount, and a provider tries to figure out what to do with a lovesick client.
In this installment: a client wonders how long he should wait for a response to a booking request before moving on to a different provider, we discuss the importance of giving your full name when screening, and what to do when you think your provider might be self-harming.
Sometimes, you just want to see a provider who’s hot and ready. Like a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, they’re easily accessible and totally satisfying. But when you’ve got your eye on a certain someone, there’s only one way to ensure that you’ll get to see them exactly when and where you want. Fly them directly to you. “Fly me to you” dates are one of the most exciting and personalized ways to meet the provider of your dreams, or delight in the company of someone that you already know. Whether you’re flying them to Snoresville, USA to help alleviate the boredom of a business trip, inviting them to visit in your hometown, or planning a luxurious journey for two to explore a new country, fly me to you trips can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. Of course, they also require a considerable amount of planning and logistical maneuvering to pull off. Luckily, once you understand the basics of booking a fly me to you date, you’re never more than a flight away from the time of your life. Here are 5 key steps to making the whole process as easy and comfortable as possible for both you and your provider:
This week, I teach a newbie how to become a super sneak (or at least not get caught with his pants around his ankles), discuss the various things an escort might be doing in the privacy of the bathroom (you’d be amazed), and help a provider decide on how to handle last minute appointment requests.
This week, we discuss boundaries on fly me to you dates, look at the difference between sharing and emotional manipulation, and try to find the best way to get things started in the bedroom…
This week: what to do when your favorite escort raises her rates out of your budget, the ethicality of planning a threesome with a provider and your unwitting wife, and more!
This week, we discuss how to become every escort’s favorite client (tip!), what to do when business slows to a trickle, the expectation of thank you notes, and more!
In this industry, there are few gifts that inspire less gratitude than unsolicited advice. You know, the innocuous seeming suggestions that people seem confident in making about nearly every aspect of sex workers’ professional and personal lives.
“You know honey, you’d get a lot more clients if you just…”
“You should really…”
“If you were smart you would…”
Well thanks so much my friend, but can you do me a favor and stay in your lane?
This week, I tackle reader questions about how to tell if your favorite escort is interested in becoming your girlfriend (spoiler alert: she isn’t), booking a provider when you’re disabled, what’s really being said about you in those reference requests, and more.
As anyone who’s ever even dipped a toe into the world of escorts can tell you: despite the sexy, glamorous facade, the whole industry is built on a system of rules and procedures. Follow the rules and you’re guaranteed a good time. Break them and you’ll find yourself blacklisted before you can say, “Whoopsie!”. Most of the time all you need to get by is courtesy and a bit of common sense, but occasionally we find ourselves in situations where the “right” answer isn’t quite so easy to come by. In those cases, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone that you could ask without fear of being judged or laughed at? Well, now you do. Starting today, I’ll be writing a weekly advice column for clients and providers alike. Whether you’re grappling with an etiquette question that you won’t find in any Emily Post book or looking for help deciding on the best way to deal with a tricky situation, I’ll do my best to give you straightforward, honest answers… With a touch of snark and the occasional doodle, just to keep things interesting.
Welcome to Part II of my Big, Scary Racism Post! Don’t worry, it’s the last part. I promise I’ll be hopping off my soapbox soon enough. You think you’re tired of hearing me (and half of Heaux Twitter) talking about how prejudices surrounding race and ethnicity affect us? Imagine living with those prejudices every day of your brown-skinned life. It’s exhausting, believe me. Anyway, last week we examined the why behind some of our problematic behaviors surrounding clients and sex workers of color*. This week I want to focus on some of the ways that those prejudices show themselves and what kind of actions we can all take to, well to be blunt, to make things a little less fucked up for everybody.
Oh, one last thing before we jump into it—let me save you guys the trouble of penning sarcastic essays or passive aggressive tweets in response to what you’re about to read. I promise you that I already know:
- It’s your body and your choice. No one (least of all me) wants you to do anything with anyone that you’re not comfortable with. I might not agree with your reasons, but I fully support your bodily autonomy and my intention is not to convince you to do anything that you feel makes you uncomfortable or unsafe.
- #NotAllMen feel/think/do the things that I’m talking about. If the things I’m saying don’t apply to you— great! Consider this a reference guide for you to use when you come across someone who isn’t as enlightened as you are. There’s really no need to DM me to let me know how many black girls you’ve seen because you’re so not racist.
Okay! Let’s do this.
Disclaimer: Before we get into this subject— which for many of us is complicated, fraught, sensitive, and deeply personal— I want to make a few things clear. First and foremost, regardless of what I say, remember the source. I’m not a sociologist, anthropologist, or any other -gist. I’m an escort who writes a blog that regularly features doodles in marker, so you shouldn’t exactly be expecting a works cited page at the end of all this. Additionally, the observations I’ve made are my own, based on personal experience and anecdotes from a bunch of random strangers and some incredibly smart friends (Hi, Nico!). I asked a big, vague question on Twitter and read about a million answers of different levels of relevance. There’s zero science to any of this, it includes absolutely no statistics (except for the ones I made up), and is meant to be a fairly lighthearted take on a very serious subject. TL;DR: Spare me the nitpicky fact checking and links to dictionary definitions of racism. Thanks!
“Baby, when are you going to tell me your real name? I want to know the real you.”
No, my friend, you do not.
The woman who you’ve become so enamored of is a work of delicious fiction. Ava St. Claire is an ethereal being made of peach-scented champagne bubbles and cheeky bon mots. While that clock is ticking, she’s the perfect woman: insatiable in bed, delightful over dinner, always ready to anticipate your every need; and, cater to your every whim. Of course you’re mad for her! That’s the very experience you’re paying for. A good escort works tirelessly every moment that you’re together to be the person of your dreams. A better escort does so with joy. The best escorts make you forget that they’re working at all; but at the end of the day, each and every one of us is, in fact, working.
Despite popular opinion, there’s more to seeing an escort than secret, furtive meetings in poorly lit hotels. Sometimes, we’re booked to enhance an experience and ::gasp:: actually be seen in public with our clients. Yes, that’s right— wanton women (and men!) being allowed to socialize with the unsuspecting public. Eating at the same restaurants, visiting the same museums, cheering for the same sports teams! It’s shocking, I know. I kid, of course, but the truth is going out with an escort can be a daunting, anxiety-inducing experience, especially if it’s your first time. But you shouldn’t let your fear of judgmental maître d’s or nosy bystanders stop you from indulging in what many would agree is one of the world’s ultimate luxuries: An extended date with a beautiful escort whose sole focus is making your time together exceptional. So before your next trip to the opera (or theme park, or hot springs, or whatever fun excursion you’re planning), make sure you’re getting the absolute most out of your date by remembering a few key tips:
Imagine you’re walking through your local mall. You aren’t really hungry, but you smell something delicious wafting towards you from the food court. So, you take a little detour and discover a friendly lady standing in front of one of the stalls holding out a tray of steaming hot pieces of… whatever. She smiles warmly and offers you a single bite, skewered on a toothpick. “Would you like to try one?” she asks sweetly. Mouth already watering, you reach out and take the sample. It’s delicious. Instantly, your eyes wander to the stall behind her, checking out the menu and staring longingly at all the food behind the glass. How is it possible that you didn’t realize how ravenous you were until this very moment?
What do you do next?
The majority of my clients are married. Their wedding bands glint in the candlelight over dinner, as much a part of their hands as a fingernail and given just about as much thought. Or sometimes they’ll slip them off before I arrive and tuck them away in some pocket, out of sight and out of mind. A pale ring of untanned skin left exposed like a badly kept secret.
I don’t ask questions. That’s my job. (more…)
I doubt that many women grow up wanting to be escorts, but the truth is that I’ve been interested in using my sensuality to my advantage since I was old enough to discover its power. As a young girl, I was in awe of the kind of women who could command the attention of an entire room with just a flick of their hair or a coy smile. While most other girls my age obsessed over Disney princesses with fairytale romances, I was drawn to Jessica Rabbit, with her sultry look and seemingly magical ability to turn the opposite sex into putty in her gloved hands.
After a year of learning the ropes here in Orlando, I’m finally feeling secure enough to take this show on the road! As a native New Yorker, the choice to make Manhattan my very first stop was an easy one. So from March 1st through March 4th, I’ll be available for both incall and outcall appointments! Keep me all to yourself while we enjoy each other’s company in my cozy Midtown hotel, or take me out and show me the sights… I’m up for almost anything.
Of course, as a true foodie and music lover, preference will be given to gourmands who want to excite my palate and patrons of the arts who want to satisfy my soul. A fabulous meal or a trip to Lincoln Center and I’m putty in your hands 😉
Pre-booking is strongly encouraged, so be sure to either email me with your screening information and appointment request or complete the screening form here on my website as soon as possible.
Listen, I get it. Wives, children, careers… You have a lot to lose. No one wants to be the next Elliot Spitzer, or Anthony Weiner, or any other publicly disgraced professional who had the bad luck of getting caught with his proverbial (or worse, literal) pants around his ankles. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are, you’ll be damned if you’re going to expose yourself to the kind of career ending, family ruining nightmare that can come from being “outed” as the kind of man who hires escorts. You’re a good guy! You’re not some psychopath with a trunk full of chloroform and rope. You just want to meet a beautiful girl, have a great time, and go back to your real life. Do you really need to go through all of this?
…Yes. Yes you do.
You see, we all value our privacy. But my safety relies on you relinquishing some of yours. When I agree to meet you, I’m agreeing to give you unsupervised access to my personal space and body. Generally, I have a very short amount of time to decide if that’s a good idea or not. Screening you is how I make that decision. For every genuine “good guy” out there, there are countless creeps, stalkers, abusers, and criminals just waiting for an escort to let them slip through the cracks and into her life. Your biggest concern is people finding out about your hobby. My biggest concern is not ending up hurt, missing… or worse.
And here’s the other thing— I don’t want to expose you. I don’t want to blackmail you. I don’t want to hurt your family or your career or your social life. I want to feel comfortable meeting you, have an incredible time together, and get back to my real life. If I were to run around sharing your personal information, or showing up at your job, calling your house without your permission, or whatever it is you think I might do with your screening info, I’d be out of a job! Discretion is such a fundamental part of this world that were it to get around that I couldn’t be trusted, I would never book another appointment. So believe me when I say that your secret is safe with me.
Still feeling a little skittish? That’s okay. We all have our boundaries. If you still think I’m asking too much, go with your gut. Just don’t waste my time trying to get me to agree with you.